My heart was broken when Mum died,
I'd never known such pain,
She and I were very close,
Since then my life's not been the same.
Pure anguish was my last farewell,
An ache like none before,
I thought and walked, as in a trance,
Hard to accept Mum was no more.
Later, I went through her things,
A daughter's final task,
The hardest thing I've ever done,
And for my Mum, the last.
I came across her diary,
Upon a closet shelf,
Dad wanted me to have it,
As a gift from Mum herself.
I put it carefully away,
I'd look another time,
Then, I could not handle it,
Although the book was mine.
My life went on, as it was meant,
And I, too, became a mother,
I experienced something very new,
A love quite different from all others.
I wondered if my mom had felt
This way when I arrived,
How I wish I could have asked her,
How I wish she were alive.
And while my kids were growing up,
And I felt their growing pains,
I wonder if, when I was there,
My Mum had felt the same.
After they had grown and left,
One day I found Mum's log,
I had not thought of it in years,
I was surely led by God.
Now that I was more mature,
It seemed okay to look inside,
The first tear that I shed, of course,
Was for the fine penmanship I spied.
An art long gone and taught no more,
I traced each letter with my finger,
I hugged Mum's book against my heart,
A special calm came, as I lingered.
And then I started reading,
The sweet words my mother wrote,
Her heart exposed on pages,
Her dreams, her wants, her hopes.
The very things she'd written down,
Were as mirrors of my thoughts,
"Like mom, Like daughter," one might say,
I found exactly what I sought.
Just as I loved my kids so much,
I learned my Mum loved me,
Oh, I knew she did, of course,
Though not aware of the degree.
Still holding mother's diary,
I took my telephone in tow,
I called each son and daughter,
And said right out, "I love you so!"
Who cares if they think I'm crazy?
Later on the time may come,
They'll recall a special phone call,
Filled with love straight from their Mum.
And then I said, "I love you, Mum,"
And blew kisses heavenward,
"And, I love you back, my darlin',"
Were the very words I heard.
Dedicated to Kate Tanks
Virginia (Ginny) Ellis
© Copyright 2001


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Original music composed and copyrighted © 2000
by Bruce DeBoer
Used With Permission.