I have this special table mat,
It's multicolored - made of plastic,
It shows all of the United States,
From the Pacific to Atlantic.
When I eat my morning breakfast,
I like to look at all the states,
And picture me in every one,
And to each state, relate.
Sometimes I spill upon my mat,
Once I flooded Arizona,
The water flowed nonstop, it seemed,
All the way to Oklahoma.
Another time, in clumsiness,
I poured coffee over Maine,
And both New Hampshire and Vermont,
Were splattered with the same.
One time sugar fell like snowdrops,
And covered Nome, Alaska,
When I tried to brush it off,
It flew into Nebraska.
Pure orange juice from Florida,
If I had not moved so quickly,
It would have taken Oregon.
Cheerios rolled free one time,
Straight out from Tennessee,
And headed then directly to,
California's Salton Sea.
One day Fargo, North Dakota,
Was wiped out with berry jam,
But it could have been much worse, you know,
It could have been Cheyenne.
Then there was a near catastrophe,
When the Maple Syrup sprang a leak
I cried, "Oh, my goodness, gracious sakes,
There goes Pike's famous Peak!"
Once I lost Minneapolis,
Together with St. Paul,
When a huge, big blob of marmalade,
Dropped down and covered all.
Then poor, old Alabama,
One morning near succumbed,
When battered, quite like hail stones,
With toasted muffin crumbs.
New Jersey vanished in grape jelly,
New York, not far behind,
And then I found Ohio,
Buried 'neath a melon rind.
One day both Carolinas,
Disappeared before my eyes,
A soft cooked egg slipped from my dish,
The cause of their demise.
From Honolulu to Cape Cod,
From Palm Beach to Ketchikan,
I have covered this United States,
With every breakfast known to man.
I'll bet you think that breakfast time,
At my house is earth shaking,
Well, geographically speaking,
It is a major undertaking.
Too many a slip 'twixt a cup and a lip,
Can test the best of social graces,
But soap and water, I have learned,
Can reinstate most U.S. places.
But the day did come, to my regret,
That a HOT pan of cinnamon rolls,
Went from the oven to the mat,
And the U. S. became charcoal.
In a flash, the United States burned up,
Border to border - coast to coast,
The last I saw was Arkansas,
As it went up in smoke!