THE DUELING POETS GET CATTY! THE DUELING POETS GET CATTY! THE DUELING POETS GET CATTY!

 

 

A TREATISE ON THE COLOR OF CATS

The next feline on my premises,
Must be in contrast to my floor,
For dark cats on dark carpeting,
Quoth I, "NEVER - NEVERMORE!"
 
I am sorely tried from tripping,
O'er an unseen lump upon my rug.
It meows! It shrieks! It jumps! It leaps!
I fall upon it with a THUD!
 
As the lump and I recover,
Unscrambling then begins.
We must instantly distinguish,
Between our legs and limbs.
 
Composure reestablished,
With dignity intact.
I grab the Yellow Pages,
To find a place to dye my cat!
 
P.S.
 
I never saw a chartreuse cat,
Soon I may just see one.
But I can tell you here and now,
I'd rather see than be one!
Virginia (Ginny) Ellis
I'd Rather Eat Dog Food Than Raise Another Human
(by Lucy Ellis)

When I was just a kitten,
My mother said to me.
"Someday, you'll have a human pet,
They're cuddly and they're free".
 


She said "They're awful clumsy,
They stumble, trip, and fall.
They cannot even see a Cat,
Sleeping in a hall".
 


"They act as if they own the place,
They're bossy every day".
"You'll learn you must ignore them
It's just the human way".
 


So, I took my Mom's advice,
I got a human pet.
I have named her Ginny,
And she's cuddly as they get.
 


Owning Ginny's been some fun,
And usually we are friends.
But she can be a handful,
I'm glad she wasn't twins.
 


Humans really aren't too bright,
Their brains are small, I guess.
While trying hard to train her,
I've not had much success.
 


She doesn't seem to understand,
How things are 'posed to be.
She insists on being headstrong,
Not mellowed out, like me.
 


She hasn't learned to lick herself,
To keep her body clean.
And when it comes to purring,
She isn't very keen.
 


She plays on her computer,
Just wasting time away.
When playing with a ball of string,
Could really make her day.


She's seems content to sit there,
Banging on those keys.
While I inspect her ankles,
Checking them for fleas.
 


When my neighbors visit me,
We sneak out to the bushes.
We laugh about our human pets,
While sitting on our tushes.


I suspect she's sniffing catnip,
As one day she got so high.
She tried to throw me in the sink,
It was filled with chartreuse dye.
 


Ginny's getting up in years,
And becoming rather slow.
There are a lot of cats out there,
Who'd say she has to go.
 


But I'm inclined to keep her,
I've considered this a lot.
Why train another human pet,
When I love the one I've GOT.
Chick Velasco

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